I Love, I Hate
by tinylittlebell
Summary: Bella hates. Edward loves. What happens when the two collide? When they mix the two and realize they both feel the same way about each other...She doesn't think she's good enough...he thinks she's perfect...AU
1. Chapter 1

**A/n: So this is my first fic to post. I have to say a huge thank you to Kitkat681 and Lvntwilight09 for encouraging me to put myself out there.**

**This is a drabble style story. I tried to stay within the 100 word guidelines but went slightly over on most chapters. **

**The Odd Chapters will be BPOV and the Even Chapters will be EPOV. I'll post two chapters everyday until it's complete. So about two weeks as there are going to be thirty/thirty two chapters.**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. But, I do love her characters with a passion.**

I hate him.

I hate his stupid bicycle.

I hate his stupid fucked up hair.

I hate that worn, brown messenger bag he always has on.

I hate that his voice is like melted butter on toasted bread.

I hate his fucking gleaming green eyes.

I hate his stupid coffee order everyday.

I hate his earbuds that rest in his ears, when he walks in.

I hate his long, thrumming fingers on the side of hips as he stands in line.

I hate his moistened lips that pucker.

I hate that little mole on this side of his neck that I want to lick.

I hate that he leaves here everyday and I have no idea who he is or where he goes.

**A/n: So, what do you think? Ready for EPOV...in about thirty minutes?**

**TLB**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N; Again, thank you to Kitkat681 and lvtwilight09 for your help and pushing me to write. It means so much to me to have your support!**

**Here's the EPOV chapter.**

I love her.

I love her long brown hair that is a little messy.

I love her tiny stature.

I love that dimple in her chin when she grimaces.

I love her hazel eyes with tiny flecks of brown, as they attempt to glare at me.

I love the snarl of her lips.

I love the tiny tattoo on the inside of her left wrist of a flying swan.

I love the snarky tone to her voice as she asks me for my order.

I love the flare of her hip as she juts it out while she waits for me to hand over my money.

I love the fact that her eyes bore a line straight into my soul when I catch her staring at me.

I love the fact that I follow her as she leaves the coffee bar and never knows that I'm there, watching her.

**Two more chapters tomorrow.**

**TLB**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n: Thank you to all that have alerted or favorited this twisted tale from my brain. **

**Special thanks to Kitkat and Steph...**

**BPOV**

I hate that you smiled at me today.

I hate that you had that damn Beatles tshirt on underneath that skull hoodie today.

I hate that you winked at me as I handed you your cup of coffee.

I hate that your fingers grazed mine when I took your money.

I hate that my skin is still on fire from the miniscule contact our skin made.

I hate that you looked back at me, from over your shoulder, when you walked out today.

I hate that I dreamed of you all night, last night.

I hate that you are my obsession and that I only see you a total of ten minutes a day and less than an hour a week.

**one more to go for today...TLB**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n: Here's the EPOV**

I love that you were flustered today.

I loved that frown on your face when I winked at you today.

I love that you had on my favorite purple tank top under your navy skull hoodie.

I love that you had your hair up in a messy bun.

I love those tiny freckles on the right side of your neck just below your ear that I want to kiss.

I love the way my skin is burning from the tiniest of graze of your skin that I skimmed with my fingertips.

I love the way you smiled when I looked back at you today.

I love the way you invade my dreams and occupy my mind always.

**See ya tomorrow for two more...TLB**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: THANK YOU for all the reviews and alerts. I am trying to respond to reviews but RL has kept me busy.**

**Thank you for all the support Kitkat and Lvtwilight09. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!**

**Remember Odd ch's are BPOV.**

I hate that I felt you outside the building before you even walked in the door.

I hate that I felt the heat of your gaze as your eyes met mine as you stepped in the door.

I hate that I felt my heart rate increase as you stood there and waited for me to help you.

I hate that my palms got sweaty and my breathing increased as you got closer to me.

I hate that you spoke to me like you were reciting a damn harlequin romance novel.

I hate that your palm slid across mine as you placed your money in my hand.

I hate that you licked your lips before you turned and walked out.

I hate that you stood outside the window and stared at me.

I hate that you left me here, without you, again.

**See ya in a bit for EPOV.**

**TLB**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/n: Here's the EPOV...I really love this chapter.**

**Some of you have asked for longer chapters. Sorry. I've already written almost this whole drabble. All the chapters are about this length. **

**As this is my first time to write something to post, I felt it best to start small. I DO have a multi-ch that I am toying w/ writing if this one is well-received. **

I love that I felt you as I stood on the sidewalk.

I love that you instantly made eye contact me as I opened the door.

I love that you kept a watch as to where I was in line.

I love that your chest was heaving as I got closer to you.

I love that you let me touch your palm when I laid my money in your hand.

I love the lingering feeling of desire you send coursing through my veins.

I love that your soul seemed open and vulnerable as I spoke to you.

I love that you watched me watching you before I drove away.

I love that I sat across the street three hours later and followed you to the library.

I love that I am learning who you are.

**A/n: That really is all for tonight. See ya tomorrow.**

**TLB**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: First one of the day...the next ch will be up shortly after this one but the other two won't be until much later tonight.**

**BPOV**

I hate how you said my name today when you ordered your coffee.

I hate that it made me long to hear you say it in the throws of passion.

I hate that I've even imagined a scenario like that between me and you.

I hate that you make me feel a longing for something that I can't have.

I hate that you make me feel special when I'm truly nothing unique at all.

I hate that you slid a piece of paper into my hand as you gave me your money.

I hate that your touch lingered on my skin, again.

I hate that I want you more than I've ever wanted anything else.

I hate that you wrote down my favorite song on a scrap of paper.

I hate that I listened to it all night and cried for you.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Here is the next ch...thank you to everyone that is rec'ing me and reveiwing. You guys are awesome.**

**Thanks, Kitkat and Steph.**

**EPOV**

I love that you softened your face as I said your name.

I love the way it felt on my tongue.

I love the small release of tension from your shoulders.

I love that you looked hopeful when I slipped you a piece of paper.

I love that you almost let me grasp your hand today.

I love that you blushed as I looked you and licked my lips.

I love that you star in all of my fantasies.

I love that I have a plan to woo you in and you have no idea.

I love that you look scared as I wave from the window before I ride away.

I love that someday I'll only see you smile.

**That's all for now...see you later tonight.**

**TLB**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/n: Well, here's the next set of updates for tonight!**

**I must say a special thank you to EdwardsEternal...she is to kind to me;) **

**A few of you are really cracking me up w/ your reviews, too!**

**Thanks for reading. One more shortly after this one, for tonight.**

I hate that you were so happy when I saw you outside the window.

I hate that you whistled as you walked in.

I hate that I am not the one that makes you that happy.

I hate that you have taken over my thoughts.

I hate that I don't even know your name.

I hate that you squeezed my hand today and that my skin still tingled from it.

I hate that I stood here and dreamed about a life with you.

I hate that I'm a stupid, silly girl with crazy ideas of love and hearts and flowers.

I hate that I want to kiss you.

I hate that I'm not good enough for you.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/n: Several of you have commented that Edward seems a bit stalkerish, well, I assure he is on the up and up. There is no mal-content in this story. He just wanted to get to know her and she, as you can tell, is a bit standoffish.**

**Last one for tonight. I'm so thrilled with the fact that there are over 100 reviews that I might just post a total of six updates tomorrow!**

I love the high I get when I know I'm going to see you.

I love the moment our eyes meet for the first time each day.

I love the thrum of excitement that wiggles through my body as I watch you work.

I love the little crease in your brow as you worry about something.

I love the small sign of hope in your eyes as I spoke your name, soft and full of want.

I love that your tiny hand fit so well in mine as I grasped it.

I love that you have no idea how I want to make your dreams come true.

I love how I feel in your presence.

I love that tonight I am going to talk to you.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Just to let you all know, EdwardsEternal has dubbed him Loveward in my story! SQUEEE that is so exciting that I have a "ward" now;)**

**This is the first of six updates today. Things kind of start to pick up...and things kind of shift...so watch for it in the next few chapters...**

**as always, I am so eternally grateful for Kitkat, Steph and EdwardsEternal...and all of you pimping me out on FB and blogs. THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

I hate that I left work and felt so heartbroken over you.

I hate that you consumed my thoughts and I had no idea of it.

I hate that I live alone, that I have no one that notices me everyday.

I hate that I can feel your presence even when you are not around.

I hate that your touch remains a constant on my skin.

I hate that I want to feel the comfort of your arms.

I hate that I sit in this dark, drab library and all I want is to be with you.

I hate that my mind is playing tricks on me and I imagine you standing next to me.

**Hides behind desk...are you all ready?**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/n: I love this one;)**

**EPOV**

I love that I am filled with excitement as I watch you.

I love the range of emotions that fly across your face as you sit in deep thought.

I love that you seem to wear your loneliness on your shoulders.

I love that I want to hug you and kiss you.

I love that you seem so small and vulnerable.

I love that I want to fill you with happiness and make you smile.

I love that there appears to be no distractions in our way.

I love that I want to make you mine.

I love that you looked completely shocked when I walked up and stood beside you at your table.

**A/n: four more updates ...don't know when but it won't be tooo late.**

**TLB**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/n: I couldn't leave you all hanging to long...this is where things change...**

**BPOV...**

I hate that you know my name and I don't know yours.

I love that you smiled when you said my name and sat down beside me.

I hate that I can't control my breathing around you and that my heart is racing in my chest.

I love that you smell like honey and the woods.

I hate that are so beautiful and completely out of my league.

I love that you softly touched my face and moved a strand of hair behind my ear.

I hate that you make me feel so gooey and emotional.

I love that I want to lean into you and never leave your side.

I hate that have gotten my hopes up.

**Well?**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/nL and yet...more changes on this side, too;)**

EPOV

I love that you smiled when I said your name.

I hate the sadness behind your eyes.

I love that you make my heart race.

I hate that you seem so timid and scared.

I love that you allowed me to touch your beautiful face.

I hate that I cannot hold you in my arms and make you feel safe.

I love that I am so close to you that I can smell your delicious scent.

I hate that you are lonely and sad.

I love that you are alone and accept my invitation for coffee.

I hate that I cannot hold your hand.

I love that you are walking beside me as we leave the building.

**A/n: okay...that really is it for now...see ya later tonight;)**

**TLB**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/n: Okay folks this is one of the last two for the day...so glad that you are all liking that Bella is now having some "Love" in her POV;)**

**Special thanks to EdwardsEternal for beta'ing for me. And for my friends, Kitkat, Sandy, Steph and Bella Ami for pimping me on FB. THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! I'm a little overwhelmed by the kindness everyone has shown my story.**

I hate that I am excited about having a cup of coffee with you.

I love that you put your hand on the small of my back as we walked through the door.

I hate that you make me feel like I am someone special, when I am not.

I love that you smile a smile that I know is only for me.

I hate that I feel the heat of your warm body as you sit next to me on the coffee house sofa.

I love that your hand grazes my knee as you get comfortable.

I hate that I want to sit in your lap and never leave your arms.

I love that you look at me and see through me to my soul.

I have that feel so raw and vulnerable around you.

I love that you followed me, even if it is a bit stalkerish.

**A/n: One more to go... TLB**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/n: Last one for tonight...show "Loveward" some love;)**

I love how you felt under my hand.

I hate that you don't seem comfortable in my presence.

I love that you seem receptive to me, minimally.

I hate that you don't seem relaxed.

I love the feel of your heat, as our arms touch, as we sit on the sofa.

I hate that I can't pull you into my lap.

I love that you gasped when I touched your knee.

I hate that you sighed, heavily, when my hand ran through my hair.

I love that you are beside me and I can touch you, if you'll let me.

I hate that you seem hesitant to talk to me about yourself.

I love that after tonight, I'll know you and can work on making you mine.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/n: Awww...you guys see that Bella's not so bad...that warms my heart.**

**First of four, maybe six today.**

**BPOV**

I hate that I want to kiss you so badly.

I love that you lean in to talk to me.

I hate that you know about my minimum-wage job.

I love that your name is Edward.

I hate that your eyes are so bright they blind me with desire.

I love that you pay complete attention to me.

I hate that I want to curl up in your lap and cry.

I love that you make me feel special.

I hate that feel completely vulnerable and raw around you.

I love that you see me as if I matter to you.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/n: Two of four for today.**

**EPOV**

I love the smile on your face.

I hate the sadness behind your eyes.

I love the sound of your breath as I brush my fingers along the back of your hand.

I hate that you are stiff and afraid to let go.

I love that your eyes light up when you talk about school.

I hate that your shoulders slump when I askd about where your home was and your family.

I love that you asked me questions and listene to my answers.

I hate that I want to kiss you so bad all I can focus on is your lips.

I love how my name sounds coming off your tongue.

I hate that you just said you really needed to head home.

I love that you agreed to let me walk you.

**A/n: see you all later tonight...*sighs* I am in love with "Loveward"**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/n: Thank you to EdwardsEternal for beta'ing for me.**

**Continual thanks to Kitkat, Lvtwilight09 and BellaAmi for pimping me out. I really appreciate it.**

**BPOV**

I hate that I have to get up so early in the morning and end this night so soon.

I love that you asked to walk me home.

I hate that I'm falling for you already.

I love that you asked to hold my hand.

I hate that the warmth of your hand will haunt me all night.

I love that I'll have these memories to reflect on later.

I hate that I want to keep you for my own.

I love that you find me interesting.

I hate that I'm so boring.

I love that you are so fascinating, just like I thought you would be.

I hate that I want to love you.

**A/n: one more after this. TLB**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/n: Last one of the night.**

**EPOV**

I love that you let me hold your hand.

I hate that you act like I am going to disappear.

I love that you accepted my request for a date on Friday night.

I hate that we are almost to your dorm.

I love that you basically gave me your class schedule.

I hate that I won't see you until the morning.

I love that you gave me your phone number when I asked for it.

I hate that I can't hold you in my arms all night long.

I love that you smiled when I called you baby.

I hate that I want to throw you over my shoulder and take you home with me.

I love that you said I could call you when I get home.

HAVE A GREAT NIGHT:) See you all tomorrow for four more!


	21. Chapter 21

**A/n: First of four for today...**

I hate that I missed you when we parted ways.

I loved that you gave me a soft kiss when we said goodbye.

I hate that I wanted you to come to my room and hold me, naked, all night long.

I love that you called me and we talked for two hours.

I hate that I can't wait to go to sleep so that I can dream about you.

I love that you don't push me when I don't want to talk about something.

I hate that I am afraid to tell you about my life.

I love that I am excited about our date.

I hate that I don't know what to wear.

I love that we have so much in common.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/n: Second of four...**

**EPOV**

I love that you let me kiss you.

I had that I held back how I really wanted to kiss you.

I love that you talked to me for hours on the phone.

I hate that you won't talk about your life.

I love that you are spirited and independent.

I hate that you seem so alone.

I love that you aren't afraid to be yourself.

I hate that I might seem shallow to you.

I love your laugh and the little snort you make at something funny.

I hate that it is four days until Friday.

I love that I get to see you tomorrow afternoon when I go to get coffee.

I hate that I won't get to kiss you good morning.

I love that you filled my dreams with hope for our future.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/n: Third of four...**

Ch23 BPOV

I hate that I didn't wake up in your arms.

I love that it wasn't all a dream.

I hate that I have to wait six hours before I can see you in the coffee bar.

I love that I get to see you in six hours.

I hate that I can't wait until it's Friday.

I love that I have a date with you, I've really wanted that for so long.

I hate that I am going to have to tell you the reason for my loneliness.

I love that you will probably hold me in your arms, tight.

I hate that I am becoming attached to you.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/n: Four of four...see you tomorrow.**

CH24 EPOV

I love that you were my first thought of the day.

I hate that I woke up alone, instead of with you.

I love that I get to see you in six hours.

I hate that I have to wait half of the day of to see you.

I love that I have a date with you and can hopefully show you that I want to keep you for myself.

I hate that you seem reluctant to open up to me.

I love that you text me back when I texted you good morning.

I hate that my heart aches from being apart from you.

I love that I might get to see you again tonight.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/n: Sorry there were no updates yesterday. It couldn't be avoided.**

**There will be about a few updates today, however, it will actually be six chapters as I've combined the POV's into one single chapter. That will start in the third update of today, I believe.**

**BPOV**

I hate that my classes seemed to drag today.

I love that it is almost time for you to come for coffee.

I hate that I have to be behind the counter instead of enjoying a cup with you.

I love that you smiled that special smile just for me when you walked in the door.

I hate that our time was brief.

I love that you asked to go to the library with me, again tonight.

I hate that I actually have to get some schoolwork done at the library tonight.

I love that you waited for me at the end of my shift.

I hate that you worry about me not eating regularly.

I love that you smelled clean and delicious when you took my hand as we walked.

I hate that I don't want this feeilng to ever go away.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/n: Here's another one. This is the last of the single chapters POV's.**

**EPOV**

I love that you let me freely hold your hand.

I hate that scowl on your face when I asked about eating.

I love that you accepted my offer to stop for a quick burger.

I hate that you fought with me about paying.

I love that you giggled when I acted as your server.

I hate that you sighed when I asked you to open up to me.

I love that you said we'd discuss more about you on Friday.

I hate that you sounded so sad.

I love that you smiled and said you really liked me, too.

I hate that you had sadness behind your eyes when you said it.

I love that I have hope that I can erase that sadness and replace it with my love.


	27. Chapter 27 and 28

**A/n: Here is the first chapter (well, technically 2 chapters) with both POV's.**

**Ch27 BPOV**

I hate that you insisted on paying for dinner.

I love that you made me laugh.

I hate that you made me admit my feelings.

I love that you smiled and said, "Me, too."

I hate that I feel all gushy and soft inside.

I love that you are making me feel something other than rage.

I hate that I feel so carefree with you.

I love that you pay attention to things and handed me the ketchup without me even asking.

I hate that you asked again about my family.

I love that you are patient and agreed to wait til Friday to hear my thoughts.

I hate that I want to let all my guards down with you.

**CH28 EPOV**

I love that you seem to be loosening up around me.

I hate that I feel this deep tragic sadness from you.

I love that you let me take care of you, even in small ways, already.

I hate that I am sitting so far away from you, across the table.

I love how you finished all the food on your plate.

I hate how you tripped and fell on the way to the bathroom.

I love how adorable you are.

I hate that I can't throw you over my shoulder and lock us in my bedroom for days.

I love that I can dream about that moment to come.

I hate how tired you seem.

I love that you allowed me to study with you tonight, because the only thing I'll be studying is you.


	28. Chapter 28 29and30 actually

**A/N: First of Two for today...so technically four chapters, total;)**

**Ch29 BPOV (a few days time jump)**

I hate that I woke up nervous.

I love that today is Friday.

I hate that I already want to throw up from nerves.

I love that you are taking me to eat italian.

I hate that I agreed to tell you my tragedy.

I love that Rose is coming to help me get dressed.

I hate that Rose is going to to want details.

I love that you have already texted me ten times today and I'm about to see you for coffee.

I hate that I am nervous of seeing you in the coffee bar, even though I have every day for almost a year.

**Ch30 EPOV**

I love that today is THE day, our date is tonight.

I hate that you seemed nervous when I saw you in the coffee bar.

I love how beautifully flushed you were when I whispered that you are beautiful.

I hate that you have something tragic to tell me and it has made you anxious.

I love that you agreed to have dinner at my favorite italian restaurant.

I hate that you made a big fuss about dressing up.

I love that you want to look 'special' for me, but I love you just the way you are.

I hate that you are worried about me ending things after tonight.

I love that I am hoping you come home with me tonight.

I hate that I am worried about you running away from me.

I love that I am standing outside your door.


	29. Chapter 29 31and32actually

**ch31 BPOV**

I hate that you are on the other side of my door and I am scared.

I love that you arrived on time.

I hate that I scowled when I saw the flowers you brought.

I love that your scent now fills my room.

I hate that I want to kiss you and crawl into my bed with you.

I love that you put your hand on my back as we walked down the hall.

I hate that I can't lick your perfect jawline as we stood in the crowded elevator.

I love that you kissed me before you opened the car door.

I hate that I didn't want the kiss to end.

I love that you held my hand in the car as we drove to the restaurant.

I hate that this might be the last happy memories I have with you.

**Ch32 EPOV**

I love that you look so soft and mesmerizing in that blue wrap dress.

I hate that feel so tense under my gaze.

I love that you wore your hair down, it softly frames your beautiful face.

I hate that there is a deep sadness behind your eyes.

I love that you leaned into me in the elevator.

I hate that I had to end the kiss so soon.

I love that you were breathless when our lips parted.

I hate that I cannot unwrap you from that dress in the car.

I love that wrapped your little fingers around mine as we exited the car.

I hate that you chose to sit across from me, rather than beside me.

I love that after tonight, you will know that I am in love with you.


	30. Chapter 30 33and34 actually

**A/n: So it appears I have been rec'd on tehlemonstand blog...wow! Thanks to Kitkat for making me a banner! Welcome to all the new readers.**

**I should also let you know that I wrote the last chapter today. Chapter 36 on here is technically ch45 as I've written them but it will be the last one...**

**I'll update 3 times a day 'til we're done. **

**Tissues might be needed.**

**ch33 BPOV (buckle up)**

I hate that I am so nervous.

I love that you are patient.

I hate that I have to tell you about my parents tragic death.

I love that you tear up and grab my hand.

I hate that I have to tell you it was my ex-fiance that killed them.

I love that you kissed my knuckles while I cried.

I hate that have a look of pity in your eyes.

I love that you haven't run away.

I hate that you make me feel so safe with you.

I love that you understand that I made a mistake.

I hate that you have a wonderful loving family to go home too.

I love that you don't say, "I'm sorry" but "Bella, that must have been excruciating to face alone."

I hate that I want to curl up in your lap and cry for hours.

**ch34 EPOV**

I love that you bared your soul to me.

I hate that you feel responsible for your parent's death.

I love that you shared your sorrows with me.

I hate that your ex-fiance was a drunk and chose to get behind the wheel of a car.

I love that you let me touch you.

I hate that you had to face all of that death and destruction alone.

I love that you are here with me now.

I hate that you think I will reject you because of your past.

I love that you will fit right into my family, where you will once again know the feel of a family's love.

I hate that you seem to want to crawl into yourself.

I love that you agreed to go to my house after dinner.


	31. Chapter 31 35and36 actually

**ch35 BPOV**

I hate that I have put a damper on our evening.

I love that you dried my tears and caressed my face.

I hate that I feel myself fall so much more in love with you.

I love that you make my heart skip a beat just by your touch.

I hate that I never want to lose the feel of your arms around me.

I love that hold me tighter when hug by the car.

I hate that I feel so fragile and weak around you.

I love that you wipe a few of your own tears away and give me a weak smile.

I hate that feel like a burden to you with all of my emotional baggage.

I love that you offered to take me to your apartment.

I hate that I am never going to want to leave.

**Ch36 EPOV**

I love that you held onto me when I hugged you.

I hate that your grip felt like you were afraid I would disappear.

I love that your eyes held hope, a hope for us, a future, a love.

I hate that you seem so raw and vulnerable.

I love that you seemed willing to lean on me.

I hate that I can still see the wetness in your eyes.

I love that you look more beautiful than words can express, in the soft moonlight of the car.

I hate that you have a fear of me leaving your side.

I love that you agreed to spend more time with me at my apartment.

I hate that I am never going to want you to leave.

I love that I want to bare my soul to you, and pray that you do not run.


	32. Chapter 32 37and38 actually

**ch37 BPOV**

I hate that your apartment is like a page out of a designers magazine.

I love that your mom designed it all.

I hate that I am sad over that fact.

I love that you offered me a glass of wine as we snuggled on the sofa.

I hate that I am more comfortable in this moment than I have been for the past four and half years.

I love that I can close my eyes and feel safe.

I hate that you want to talk, for that fear of rejection is resting in my throat.

I love that you turned and sat to face me and held my hands as you spoke.

I hate that you are telling me how special and amazing I am, when I feel none of those things about myself.

I love that you just told me that you can't live without me.

I hate that I have just admitted to myself that I am in love with you.

I love that you told me that you loved me and wanted to be with me always.

I hate that I cried and told you the same...for fear that this is all a dream.

**Ch38 EPOV**

I love that you are in my apartment, and your scent will linger.

I hate the thought of being here without you.

I love that you snuggled into my side as we sat on the sofa.

I hate that you actually cringed when I told you that I needed to tell you something.

I love that you listened intently to the words that I spoke.

I hate that you cried and admitted you don't feel worthy of my affections.

I love that you smiled when I confessed that I loved you.

I hate that you looked away with a look of rejection in your eyes.

I love that you smiled up at me and confessed your feelings to me.

I hate that you had any doubts that you are as amazing as I see you to be.

I love that you are in my arms, for I will never let you go.


	33. Chapter 33 39and40 actually

**A/n: We will finish this up today...I think. **

**Thank you as always to Kitkat681, lvtwilight09 and EdwardsEternal...and thank you to surething302, as well.**

**ch39 BPOV**

I hate that there is a light on for you to see my ugly pale skin, after you have removed my clothes.

I love the feel of your lips against the skin on my neck and collarbone.

I hate the cold that touches my skin when you move lower down my body.

I love the gleam in your eyes as you look up at me while you suck my nipple.

I hate that I want to feel you like this for the rest of my life.

I love that you moan and bit at my flesh.

I hate that cannot reach your luscious lips.

I love that you touch me like a piece of delicate glass.

I hate that I want to shatter beneath you.

I love that you lick my sweet spot like it's a lollipop you cant get enough of.

I hate that I saw our entire future as I rode through my orgasm.

**ch40 EPOV**

I love the beauty of your skin in the soft light of the room.

I hate that you try to hide your knock-out body from my eyes.

I love the giggle that escapes your mouth as I lick across your collarbone.

I hate that you tensed up as I took your breast into my mouth.

I love that you whimpered as I sucked it deep into my mouth.

I hate that you can feel my hard cock rubbing against your thigh as I taste all of your skin.

I love that you gasp when I spread you open before me.

I hate that are shy when I rake my eyes over your gloriously flushed body.

I love that you taste like nectar.

I hate that you can't seem to let go and bloom from the feelings.

I love that you moaned my name as you finally lowered the guard of your heart, soul and body.


	34. Chapter 34 41and42 actually

ch41 BPOV

I hate that you won't let me put your cock in my mouth.

I love that you kiss me, passionately before you push into me.

I hate that it hurts because it's only happened twice before, so many years ago.

I love that it feels like my first time all over again.

I hate that you know it's not my first time.

I love that you moan and say my name as you push deeper inside of me.

I hate that I can't get you deep enough.

I love that you throw my leg over you hip and go deeper.

I hate that I cry as you make love to me.

I love that it is the single best sexual experience I have ever had.

I hate that I cannot hold off my release and I cry your name at the top of my voice.

I love that you collapse on top of me, and cover me with the weight of your love and body.

I hate that I want to do this again and again, because it truly feels like home to me.

ch42 EPOV

I love that you want to taste me.

I hate that it'll have to wait because tonight is about showing you my love for you.

I love that you feel so warm and wet as I slide inside of you.

I hate that you tense from the pain.

I love that you feel so new and unused, like I am the only one.

I hate that you were hurt in the past.

I love that my body fits so well inside of yours.

I hate that I cannot get deeper.

I love that you mewl when I hitch your leg higher.

I hate that I growl from the depth that I feel inside of you.

I love that you arch your back and pull me inside you, forcing me to hold off on my release.

I hate that I see tears falling from your eyes.

I love that you cling to me as I thrust into you over and over, showing you my love.

I hate that you feel desperate to hold onto this moment, like it will never happen again.

I love that this is what I want for the rest of my life, there is no doubt that we were made for each other


	35. Chapter 35 43and44 actually

**The end is near...things change in this one...**

**Six Months Later...**

Bella hates that I leave wet towels on the floor in the bathroom.

Edward loves that I enjoy morning wood as much as he does.

Bella hates that I call her sexy or beautiful all day long.

Edward loves that little thing I do with my tongue, on his slit, when I give him head.

Bella hates that I made her quit that job at the coffee bar to focus on school.

Edward loves when I cook him blueberry pancakes for breakfast.

Bella hates when I keep secrets from her and I'm holding on to a big one right now.

**One Month Later...**

Edward hates that I don't like surprises, especially when the surprise puts me in embarrassing situations. Like at my birthday dinner where the restaurant sang to me.

Bella loves when kiss all over her body to wake her up; especially because it usually leads to a morning sexcapade.

Edward hates that I enjoy cooking big meals and inviting all our friends over. He's stinging and wants me all to himself.

Bella loves to tend to those around her, she spoils me so. She takes care of me in everyway.

Edward hates that I still feel lonely when we're in a room crowded with his family. My mom and dad would have loved Edward and his family.

Bella loves that we're going on a hike this afternoon, what she doesn't know is the significance of that hike.

Edward hates that I keep track of my ex's court and parole hearings, because I always get so torn and depressed.

Bella loves the meadow that we hike to, and where today I will ask her to be my wife as I present her with her grandmother's ring. It was a lot of work to track down, but I did.

Edward hates that he cannot ask my father for my hand, so I made him ask his dad instead. I love his dad that much.

I hate that he's going to ask me to marry him...and I'll easily say yes.

I love that I'm going to ask her to marry me...and pray that she says yes.

**A/n: The next chapter is the last one;(**

**TLB**


	36. Chapter 36 ch45 The End

**A/n: See ya at the bottom:**

**Six Months Later...**

**BPOV**

I am standing in my mothers wedding gown. I hate that I am alone. I know that I asked to be, but I really miss my parents in this moment.

As a few tears start to fall, I love that I feel your loving mother, Esme, wrap her arms around me and whisper the sweetest words to me.

I dry my eyes because I would hate to ruin the beautiful makeup job that your sister, Alice, did for me.

I cannot wait to meet you at the altar, but I hate that time is both going too quickly and too slowly.

I will soon be your wife, I love that name will now be Mrs. Edward Cullen.

I simply hate that you will not tell me where we are going for our honeymoon, but I cannot wait to get there.

I absolutely love that I will have you all to myself for two whole weeks, you've assured me that we'll be completely isolated from the outside world.

I sigh and the dread takes over my heart, I hate that I love you so damn much that fear grips me with thoughts of losing you, too.

They tell me it is time, so I grab my bouquet and dab my eyes. I walk, head up, to the door to meet your father, Carlisle, so he can walk me down the aisle. I love that you will be waiting for me.

I hate that this will be over so quickly that the memories and pictures will be all we have to keep reminding us of this momentous occasion.

**EPOV**

I am so anxious to see you, I hate that my sister forced us apart last night in the name of tradition.

However, the five texts that I received from you throughout the night made me love you all the more. You seemed to miss me as much as I missed you.

I hate that today will bring you sadness, without your parents here to celebrate in our union. But I love that you have embraced my family as your own, too.

The time on the clock seems to standstill but I am impatient. I hate all this waiting to see you. However, the moment I lay eyes on you in that dress, I fear I may cry.

I wonder how quickly we can get this thing over with and out the door to start our honeymoon, I love that I've been able to keep it a secret from you. And, I plan on keeping you naked most of the time we are there.

My dad gives me a hug and wipes a tear from his eye, he does love you so much. But, we both hate the heavy empty space that not having your dad here to walk you down the aisle has created for you.

Jasper and Emmett both give me a hard time but I love that they are both here to stand beside me as I make you my wife. Emmett has threatened to break every limb in my body, should I hurt you.

I'm told it is time, I hate the moment I realize that the moment I have been waiting for is upon us and you might feel an ounce of hurt...I only want you to feel the love in the room as all eyes are on you.

I love that my father placed your hand in mine and gave you to me, for the rest of our lives.

I hate this moment will flee so quickly and all we'll have are memories and photos to remember it by.

**Fifty-Five years later...**

**Charlie POV**

There is no greater love than what my parents shared.

I love that my sister, Emma, and I had them for as long as we did, but I hate that they left us at the same time, to mourn them both.

My parents, Bella and Edward Cullen, loved each other so much that when one lay dying the other could not bare to be left behind. They both died peacefully, in their sleep, holding one another.

I hate that I feel such heavy sadness at this loss, but I love that they will be together for eternity, as they join all of my grandparents in the afterlife.

My father used to say that for every thing you hate in this world, there are at least five more things that you could love.

It is so true even now, because I hate that I loved them so much that I will miss their warmth, their laughter, their kindness, their knowledge but mostly I will miss their love above it all.

The End

**A/n: When I started this journey, I did it to prove a point to myself and to a few other people. I think I accomplished part of my mission with this drabble.**

**I have to thank a few people from the bottom of my heart...**

**Kitkat681 - YOU simply AMAZE me on a regular basis - without you, this would not have gotten anywhere near the recognition that it has and I will forever be in your debt. BEST MENTOR EVER!**

** Lvtwilight09 - you are a powerhouse in your vast knowledge. **

**EdwardsEternal - you became a part of my heart...I just simply adore you;)**

**I am planning on a multi-ch fic in the near future, so watch for it. I have no planned time frame as I've barely begun to plot it out. **

**Thank you to surething302 for her pimpage. I understand that PIMP MOMMA Sandy did alot of that, as well. THANK YOU THANK YOU to all who read, reviewed and pimped.**

**Til we meet again, TinyLittleBell**


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